


Jealousy is an ugly feeling

by JellyMonster



Series: The most dangerous thing beyond the blankets [2]
Category: EXO (Band), K-pop, Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band), 이불 밖은 위험해 | It's Dangerous Beyond the Blanket (TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, Idols, Jealousy, M/M, Mentioned Other K-pop Artist(s), brief talk about feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:08:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26916379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JellyMonster/pseuds/JellyMonster
Summary: That was the moment when he realized what was bothering him and he was hating himself for having such and ugly feeling inside, specially when everything he wanted was right in front of him."I'm jealous"
Relationships: Kang Daniel/Kim Minseok | Xiumin
Series: The most dangerous thing beyond the blankets [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1106460





	Jealousy is an ugly feeling

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back!
> 
> This note is because I want to say thank for all the people who enjoyed the series (I hope you did) and all the comments and support on my other works.
> 
> Special thanks to: samebirthdaywithong0825 ! truly, I still have some of your comments save in my inbox.

They went to visit Jongdae and his lovely baby girl, his best friend looked tired and yet so happy with his wife beside him, it was like everything was complete. Fans outraged across the country, he had a lot of meetings in the company questionig his position in the group, he also planned a wedding and had a baby, yet within all the chaos in his life Minseok never saw him more at peace with himself.

He and Daniel turned into baby babos almost instanly, his heart melted at the second he had the baby girl in his arms, she was so delicate and pure, looking like a lovely potato with her wrinkled face, she even smelled good with that characteristic scent that you can only find in babies. It was hard for Minseok to stay away from the her but Daniel insisted on holding her too, after a while plus Jongdae intervention he finally let him hold her a bit, soon he realized that move was a mistake because something awful woke up inside him. 

Minseok wasn't ready for the slap of reality he was about to take after seeing his partner cradling the baby in his arms, caresing her little lovely face, talking to her with one of the biggest and brighter smile he had, lighting up the whole room. It was just like in movies, the perfect picture of the family they will never have, crushing in front of him into million pieces because the guilt was coming again to remind him all he took away from Daniel and the life he gave up all those years ago.

They've been together for five years and nothing indicated that their relationship was going to end soon. He had all he wanted and more but it was different whenever he thought about Daniel, although his partner was dealing well with their secret life and showed him a really mature side he couldn't stop himself from thinking about that _maybe_.

Maybe it was too soon for them, maybe he should have end everything for the best because he was the older, maybe he was too in love to think properly and let Daniel have the life he deserved. Too many things to think about and process but he tried to put his best face for the rest of the evening. Jongdae's house wasn't the place to have a breakdown and it was getting late, he tried to leave sooner but sadly his boyfriend wasn't collaborating, Daniel said goodbye at least twenty times because he couldn't leave without a hundred baby pictures or hold the baby "one last time".

When he was finally able to drag him out of the house they had a quiet way back home with Daniel checking on the baby pics with a big smile, meanwhile Minseok was trying to concentrate on the road, trying because he keep thinking about Jongdae and his happy tired face.

* * *

Once they were at home Minseok went straight to their bedroom to change and Daniel let him sit on the bed before asking him.

"So what's wrong?"

Minseok knew this was coming and he didn't even try to take off his socks. Daniel always acted like nothing until they are at home, to this day he doesn't like to talk/discuss with him outside the house to avoid situations like their big first fight, and of course to corner him because there's no way he can excuse himself with a _later_.

Minseok sighed and made a long pause before answering him because he had one simple question and he wanted to be clear.

"Do you want a baby?"

Daniel watched him silently as if his brain was trying to process the question.

"Babe sorry but... WHAT?"

"You heard me" he wasn't in the mood for stupid questions.

" Yeah, I heard you but the reason I'm asking what is because I don't understand where is this question coming from. Don't look at me like that, I know we saw Jongdae's baby but why would you think I want a baby out of nowhere?"

"I don't know, we actually never have a proper talk about it."

"Well there's nothing to talk about" Minseok wasn't expecting that answer.

"Are you sure? I saw how happy you were with the baby in you arms, there's no way you're ok with us being a family of two and five cats."

“Is that why you are mad?”

That caught him off guard, he had a swirl of feelings inside him and he didn’t stop to think what was actually bothering him. He thought he was just sad after seeing Daniel with the baby but it was something else. 

“I guess you are right, I'm mad. I’m mad because...” he was asking himself why but he already knew the answer “Because we will never have that” he said remembering Jongdae’s face. “I want that happiness for us too..." he paused to sigh with sadness " I thought I was okay when I decided to put things aside for my career, but now as time goes by I'm seeing what I'm missing right in front of me and is getting overwhelming.”

“Are you saying that you are not happy with me?” he asked hurt.

“What? No!" he stood up to hold his face between his hands "Of course I am happy Daniel, everytime I wake up by your side I’m really thankful for all I have. I do, it's just..."

"Tell me" he said taking his tiny hands to kiss his fingertips.

And again Jongdae's face appeared in his mind, that was the moment when he realized what was bothering him and he was hating himself for having such and ugly feeling inside, specially when everything he wanted was right in front of him.

"I'm jealous" he finally said it out loud "I'm jelous of what Chen has, jelous of what Baek, Chanyeol and everyone else are going to have”

“And what do they have?” he asked confused.

“Options Daniel… I never stopped to think how easy is everything for them compare to us and there’s so many things I want to give you Daniel, so many things you and I deserve and I know we won't have it.” he said those words thinking about the big wedding they will never plan, the family they will never have while their friends will have that and more “It makes me mad because you deserve the world babe and I could never give it to you”

Daniel was looking at him with a sad smile before hugging him.

“I was jelous too”

“You?” he asked surprised.

"Of course babo." He said tighting his hug and kissing him in the neck "When I saw you with Chen's baby it hit me you know? I mean I fantasize about a family in the future sometimes, just for fun but after today…" He pulled away a little to look at him in the eye "I wanted it to be real with all my heart. I know it's not the moment but never is a big word Kim Minseok." And for him those words felt like a punch in his guts.

"Daniel..." He was trying to be realistic because hopes here only would bring pain for both of them "Don't you see that life is not for us? I told you before this is all I can give to you."

“Are you throwing the towel without even trying?”

“But Daniel...” He silenced him with a soft kiss.

"Look all we have now. Almost 6 years ago I spent two days beside you, then I thought I will never hear from you again after weeks waiting for your call, now we are living under the same roof without having to sacrifice our careers...” Minseok heart was about to melt with Daniel’s sweet words. “Is not the first time we have this conversation, so let me remind you that I told you before family and love are something I will never give up and I know it’s complicated but I believe things are going to be better for us."

Minseok kept his lips sealed, if Daniel believes in them he believes too. His boyfriend was looking at him with his eyes full of hope and joy and all he could do was kiss him back, tenderly, thinking about how much he adores him, although deep inside he still believed they will never have more than this, he was ok with that as long he had Daniel by his side.

“I love you” he said.

“Of course you do babo” Minseok kicked him in the shinbone without thinking twice.

"Ouch!"

"Idiot" he said pulling him away "Just for you to know, I'm not doing the dishes tonight!" he said leaving the bedroom while a pained Daniel tried to stop him.

"Wait, I love love too!"

"Too late!"

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I told youI will write more about them in the future.
> 
> I have a couple ideas before I finish the series, I don't want to spoil you (if there's anybody reading this) but all I can say there's a wedding coming someday, the night they spent together before Minseok left for the army and some daily life staff. At least is what I want to write but I don't promise anything.
> 
> I hope I improved my english in these years so you can enjoy them more.


End file.
